Friday, November 03, 2006

Don't argue with me, or I'll cover you with phlegm

This is the stub of a Girl With Flat Hat FAQ. Nobody ever asks me questions, but if you want to ask one, here are all the answers in one handy place. (And seriously, I have snot coming out of me in shades of green that don't ordinarily occur in nature. Don't mess with me. I can do anything right now except talk. I can definitely find you wherever you are and cough on you.)

Do you really wear a flat hat?
No. I just like that statue in my profile.

Is this a blog about politics?
No. But I post about politics sometimes. Probably too often.

What is this blog about, then?
It's partly a way for several friends of mine in Seattle who read it to keep up with my life, partly an outlet for "creative writing" in the sense that I used to do but rarely do anymore, partly for me to vent. It has no theme. Any attempt to discern a theme will drive you to insanity. Don't send me the bill from the psychiatric ward. I'll get phlegm on it anyway.

Are you a Republican or a Democrat?
Neither. I don't submit to your arbitrary categories!

Well, are you registered as a Republican or a Democrat?
Neither. Never have been. I asked for a Republican ballot in the 2000 primary so I could vote for McCain. Otherwise I've always voted as an independent.

Have you ever campaigned for a Republican or a Democrat?
I stuffed envelopes for a local candidate for state representative when I was in high school. He was a Democrat, but he later switched parties. Probably something to do with his being pro-life even as a Democrat.

Just freaking tell me what party you identify with before I come over there and kick you.
Okay. I'm Republican, sorta. I think a lot of Republicans currently in office are loathsome people, but I happen to agree with Republicans more often than I agree with Democrats, so there you go.

Do you have friends you disagree with politically?
Of course. You don't?

But if someone disagrees with you, doesn't that mean they're evil and stupid?
No, it means they have a different way of seeing the world and draw different conclusions from what they see. Or else they are evil and stupid. That's always a possibility. But all my friends are smart and nice.

If I use a word like DhimmicRAT or RethugliKKKan, does that make me clever?
No. What are you, like, in seventh grade?

Who should I vote for?
I don't know. They're all kinda lame.

I like your pictures. What camera do you use?
I use a Canon Digital Rebel XT and an assortment of lenses that I spend too much money on.

I don't like your pictures. Please stop posting them.
Is someone holding a gun to your head and making you look at them? No? Strange, that's what it sounded like.

There's something you haven't written about that's far more important than any of the silly things you post about. Will you post about it?
No. Get your own damn blog.

What if it's a post about saving all the starving malarial children in Zaire or something like that?
Well, maybe. But it's not called Zaire anymore.

You didn't answer my question. Where do you live so I can ask you in person and/or strew your yard with rotting vegetables?
I don't have a yard, so there! But you can email me at the address on the sidebar.


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